I Can Transform Ya

I love hip-hop music. It's one of my favorite things in this world. For a loooong time my dream was to work for P. Diddy. I didn't care what I did, I just wanted to live in NYC and work for him, that's all. Well, now that I have a husband, three kids, and a Leesburg address, I think my chances of being employed by Bad Boy are pretty much slim to none, and that's ok. ;)

My reason for writing this post is not to express my music interests or my career aspirations, but to share a personal transformation that I've had over the last 4 months. In Augustof last year, Meredith Samson wrote an email to all her SAHM friends informing us that the Bible Study Fellowship class she and her sister, Megan, attend throughout the school year is now offering an under 2's program and encouraged us to try it out! (BSF has always offered a over 2's program.) This would be the first year that you could essentially bring all your kids with you to BSF and have them study the Bible as well. I'll have to admit, I was on the fence for a while. I remember asking questions like, "how much time does this take a week?" and "do I have to talk a lot in class?," which now in retrospect seem incredibly petty. Anyways, I'm not going to lie, I had extreme anxiety about how I would handle three children, school work, BSF work and adapting my shy, introverted Sienna to this program. I was nervous about starting because even though I grew up Catholic, I had very little knowledge of the Bible. Anyways, I decided to give it a shot - and I'm so glad that I did.

Now that we've all been in the program for 4 months, I can honestly say that is has transformed my life completely. I genuinely feel that I have grown as a person so much since last September and I am so excited to see where I'll be at the end of the program in May. Every Wednesday I learn so much about the person I want to become in the eyes of God and I'm prompted to make changes to live my life in a better, more loving way, each and every day. I've met a bunch of great women and I truly look forward to seeing them every week and hearing all the great stories and insight they have. I'm also slowly learning that I don't have to constantly live in fear. For those of you that know, I have extreme anxiety about bad things happening to me and my family and have also constantly struggled with a fear of flying. While I can't say I'm completely healed, I'm definitely making steps in the right direction and feel so much happier on a daily basis. I'm so grateful that Meredith emailed me back in August. I'm so grateful that I took a leap of faith and joined BSF. I'm so grateful that Sienna and Hudson now have a close relationship with the Lord. And above all, I'm grateful for the way God has transformed my life.

The song "I Can Transform Ya" by Chris Brown is one of my new favorites. It's definitely NOT about being transformed in the eyes of God, but there is a line that really speaks to me. "I can change your life, make it so new. Make you never want to go back to the old you." How very fitting of how I feel lately. :)